Sometimes we avoid apologies because we’re bringing up ‘the subject’ or ‘the incident’ that caused problems in the first place, and it’s just easier to move on rather than rehash it. Or at times we don’t apologize because what happened was out of our control—it’s not even our fault. Here are four signs you should consider apologizing:
- If you’ve hurt someone’s feelings. You may think you shouldn’t apologize for something if it logically doesn’t make sense for you to. However, feelings are emotional and therefore, not logical. You don’t have to apologize for what you said or did, but you do need to apologize if you have upset them or hurt their feelings. Engage with empathy by asking them what exactly hurt their feelings or offended them, and you will probably learn more about why it triggered them. And letting them know that care about their feelings will go a long way.
- When you are righting your wrong. You may have made a mistake or an error and are correcting it for the person, however, the correction does not substitute for an apology. Think about when a server gets your dinner order wrong in a restaurant, and instead of apologizing, says they will take it back and make it right. And maybe they even throw in a free dessert! All of that is great; however, make the wrong into a right and give an apology. Your apology shows remorse for the mistake you made in the first place.
- When you have messed up or inconvenienced someone but it’s not your fault. Maybe you are meeting someone and running late, but your tardiness is due to an accident that backed up traffic along the way. The reason you ran late was out of your control, but you still inconvenienced the person, so need to apologize. Relay the reason, without making excuses and extend an apology.
- If you wonder if you should apologize, then you should. If there is a little voice in your head thinking about it, then that is your sign. Do it even if it feels uncomfortable or embarrassing, and even if you apologize for something that happened a long time ago. A late apology is better than no apology.
Do you want to know the right way and the wrong way to apologize? Watch this video:
