We all know the importance of making a positive impression. Have you ever thought about how important it is to leave a positive impression when you end a conversation?
Consider this: the peak-end rule is a cognitive bias in which people judge an experience largely based on how they felt at its peak, meaning an intense positive or negative point, and at its end, rather than based on the total sum or average of every moment of the experience. Therefore, how you end a conversation weighs heavily on someone’s lasting impression of their encounter with you.
Use the following two-step process when ending conversations, and you will be more likely to leave a lasting and positive impression.
The first step: If you have enjoyed the conversation, vocalize it! “I have really enjoyed talking with you!” or, “I liked our talk.” You may be thinking, “why should I say the obvious?”
When you vocalize it, you demonstrate two important things:
1. You signal that the conversation is coming to a close.
2. You give a compliment and making the person feel special. When you vocalize that you have enjoyed your time with them, it is unexpected and positive. Think about it. If someone says something nice to you, it’s nice. And when someone says something nice AND unexpected to you, it’s extra nice!
Be sure to only say it when you mean it, and to say it with intentionality so that it doesn’t feel like a line you give to everyone when you leave a conversation.
The second step: Recall something they said earlier in the conversation, and refer to it at the end of the conversation. For instance, if the person told you they are going away for the weekend, refer back to that. Say something such as, “I hope you have a wonderful time on your weekend getaway!”.
When you do this, you demonstrate two important things :
1. You demonstrate that you were listening. We all want to be listened to, and these days, we value those conversations when we feel listened to, as so many conversations tend to be one person vocal dumping on another. when someone refers to something we said earlier on in the conversation, that person is affirming to us that they were truly listening.
2. You turn the focus back on the other person. Good conversationalists know that turning the focus of any conversation towards the other person is appreciated when it is sincere. Even for introverts who tend to not prefer to be the center of attention, this recall statement to something they said earlier shows that you care.
When you do both of these steps with people that you enjoy talking to, you help “fill their social tank” as you end the conversation. Keep in mind that even though the ending of the conversation is important, the peaks of conversation are important, also–both the positive and the negative peaks. Therefore, be careful not to be a nice but self-centered communicator. And if you’re wondering if you may ever be guilty of being one, check out my video describing them and how to handle them if you’re on the receiving end of one: The Nice But Self Centered Communicator
